I am posting a Hallyu feature on my birthday because it is like another moment or opportunity for me to share something.
Doctor Cha was a JTBC drama that aired in April-June of 2023. I just finished watching it and I can say that I am glad to have watched this despite being late.
I cried so many times in this drama. Cha Jeong Seok is a mother who has to give up her medical practice for 20 years because she chose to raise her son and daughter and become a dutiful wife. She has a husband who was providing financially but had an affair with his first love in which they had a child out of wedlock. She has a mother who got sick so she had to endure her husband's cheating so that her mother wouldn't be affected by the news she has to keep it all in because she has to be strong for her children and her mother as well.
You know what made me cry so much? Because I saw myself in her and realized my life is nothing short of a drama. I was reminded that I actually experienced those and more, but it also reminded me of how strong I have become after experiencing it.
I was experiencing some "insights" again lately coupled with difficulty sleeping and waking up in the middle of the night. So I was busying myself by watching K-dramas again since I can't sleep well. I even told my son, that maybe if past lives were true, I would probably have been a concubine/mistress or someone who had forced a person to love me because, in this lifetime, I have experienced being the "legal/official" partner twice but both men have series of partners outside of marriage. I think the reason why I always tell my friends who once had "situations" with their significant others (boyfriend or MU) having a wife or girlfriend, is to not let themselves be the "other woman" since I know how much it hurts to be cheated on and for the trust and faith on a person to be betrayed. I may not have had the perfect reputation as an ideal girl when I was younger but when I decided to tie the knot and settle, I was faithful and always chose to be faithful with my significant other.
This particular scene is something I hope many women (we just replace the nouns used) can learn from... to not abandon our chance of being a good person and mother. Choi Seung Hi (played by Myung Se Bin) is a doctor from family medicine, the first love of Dr. Seo In Ho (Dr. Cha's husband) who also bore a daughter out of wedlock with her affair. She has been justifying her affair as "she was the first" and that Doctor Cha was the one who ruined their relationship so she was just "taking back" what's hers. Ladies, whether or not we were the first or even the current when a person chooses to cheat on you and choose the other person, let the person go. Because if there's love, there should be respect, and if we respect the other person we would be mindful of their feelings and make sure that they will not be hurt by our actions. So if we choose to hold on to people with commitments, it means we are disregarding the other party's integrity and feelings, but most of all we are disregarding the respect we owe ourselves because it is like begging for love that is meant for others. I hate to say it because it might come off as misplaced pride, but we can be good mothers (or fathers) even without a husband (or wife). We must explain to our children that although not ideal, being a single parent or co-parenting is an option to maintain one's peace of mind not only for ourselves but also for the children.
I also appreciate this scene very much. When Doctor Cha's mother was talking to her son-in-law, she reminded In Ho that he should at least offer a sincere apology to her daughter. Why does the man (in this drama) even have the guts to make things hard for Doctor Cha in the hospital so just he can cover up their affair? Like from personal experience, when I got pregnant with my daughter, I had to resign from work because I was on prolonged bedrest due to health reasons (I had two miscarriages before my pregnancy). After giving birth and being a hands-on mom, I felt useless for quite some time having to depend on someone else's income (when I had worked even before my college graduation), it was especially extra hard when it had been implied more than a couple of times that I was "mabigat kasama" so imagine my "pride" being shattered because I took pride in myself for being independent and being able to raise my son before as a single mother. That issue coupled with repeated infidelity was all harbored inside me for many years because I didn't want my mother to be worried about me. But since I was covering for him, there were times that I got sick and couldn't even stand and walk anymore. To add more injury, I kept on hearing stories of his affair and never a clarification or confirmation what more an apology. I have lived like that for at least four years. Maybe, just maybe, if there had been an apology or show of remorse instead of being told off as "pabigat" then maybe, it wouldn't have created an awkward atmosphere whenever we were together.
These are golden nuggets here. I have learned to have a different perspective on life with the loss of my mother and sister. I thought why do we have to endure so much until the point that our health is sacrificed or we face some life-and-death situations before we realize that life is meant to be enjoyed, that being able to wake up and breathe is in itself a miracle already. Appreciate the mundane in everyday life, because being alive is the miracle itself.
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